by Virginia Quintanar
“And no one will take away your joy.” — John 16:22
For a long time, those words didn’t mean much to me. I read them, but I didn’t feel them. I couldn’t, because I didn’t have joy to begin with.
I belonged to the world for so many years. It felt like I was walking in a dark room with no windows, no doors and no light. And every direction I turned, was just more darkness.
On the outside and to other people I looked fine — I laughed, I greeted people, I did what was expected. But on the inside, I was hollow. Like a robot going through the motions with no feelings, no purpose and no hope.
Life in a Dark Room
Each day was a battle to survive. Getting out of bed was hard. My first thought every morning was, “Why? God, couldn’t You just let me die in my sleep?”
I had no reason to live. At least that’s what I thought because I was trapped in my mind — reliving my traumas and replaying old pain. I thought constantly about ending my life.
Once, I drove all the way to work and realized I couldn’t remember a single street I’d taken. I had been completely lost in my thoughts — and those thoughts were dark. Sometimes I imagined dying in a car accident. It seemed like the simplest way to make the pain stop.
But even then, fear held me back. What if I didn’t die? What if I ended up worse?
That’s when I started praying prayers that were more like cries for help: “God, if You gave me life, can’t You take it away? Haven’t I suffered enough?”
God didn’t answer my prayer by ending my life. He answered it by saving it.
My first real encounter with Jesus happened in 2012. I was in a terrible car accident, the car was rolling downhill, and I thought for sure I was about to die. But in that chaos, I felt something — like arms wrapping around me. A voice whispered, “Nothing is going to happen to you.”
Then, everything stopped. The car came to a halt, and an overwhelming peace filled me.
For the first time, a thought entered my heart that wasn’t rooted in fear or despair: What if you’re still here because there’s a purpose for you?
In that moment a seed was planted.
Over the next few years, I was in two more serious accidents. The last one, in 2017, involved my whole family — a four-car pileup on the San Diego freeway. Our car was totaled. Some of us weren’t even wearing seatbelts. But somehow, we all walked away unharmed.
The same voice came again: “You have purpose. Not just you but your family too.”
This time, I listened.
I began to pray: “God, if there’s a reason I’m still here, please show me where to go.”
That prayer became the first step of my journey to Him. I was still struggling — still fighting the darkness but I refused to give up.
I was the first in my family to start seeking God, and I started praying for them too. I remember saying, “When my sister comes to the Lord, she’s going to be on fire for Him.” I didn’t know it then, but I was speaking life into her — and God was listening.
Years later, my sister came to know Jesus. When she did, it reignited my own faith even more.
That’s when I decided: I’m never going back.
ALIVE AGAIN
Before Jesus, I was walking dead — breathing, but not really alive. One day, as I drove past a cemetery, I thought, “What’s the difference between me and them?”
The answer came quickly: Jesus!
They were physically dead, but I had been spiritually dead. The only difference was that God’s grace had reached me.
Now, I see life differently. I thank God for everything — my hands, my feet, my job, my home, even the little things like a butterfly passing by or the warmth of the sun on my face. I once found a leaf shaped like a heart and whispered, Thank You, God.
It’s funny because sometimes I stop and ask myself, “Who are you?” Because I hardly recognize the person I used to be.
And Now No One Will Take Away My Joy
When I didn’t have God, my happiness depended on circumstances. If someone hurt me, it ruined my whole day. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I felt worthless.
I tried to fill the emptiness with temporary things: buying stuff, drinking, using drugs. It never worked. The happiness faded, and I’d be empty all over again.
Then I met Jesus. He filled that void in a way nothing else ever could. I thought I’d been waiting for Him, but really, He had been waiting for me. He was always there calling me, protecting me, pursuing me even when I was running in the dark.
Now, I understand what John 16:22 means: “No one will take away your joy.”
My joy doesn’t depend on people or circumstances anymore. It’s anchored in Christ — and no one can steal it.
When sadness tries to creep back in, I run to His Word. I worship. I pray. I remind myself: I’m not who I used to be. I am alive in Jesus.
To Anyone Searching:
If you’re reading this and you feel empty or lost — if you’ve tried everything and still feel nothing — it’s Jesus your soul is longing for. No drug, no relationship, no amount of money will ever fill that hole in your heart. I know, because I tried them all.
Life without Jesus is survival. Life with Him is living.
I lost friends along the way, but I also lost my emptiness, my anger, my addiction to instant gratification. What I lost was nothing compared to what I gained — peace, purpose, and joy that can’t be taken away.
How I Keep My Joy
- I talk to Him every day. Exactly like I would talk to a friend.
- I read His Word because it reminds me of who He is and who I am in Him.
- Before I even get out of bed, I say, “Thank You, Jesus, for another day.”
- I worship Him throughout my day through music, through words and through gratitude.
He’s become the most essential part of my life — as necessary as the air I breathe.
